For those of you who enjoy turning anything into a competition: you’re welcome.
Some of us can’t smell “asparagus pee,” while others taste cilantro as soapy. Certain people are more sensitive to acid where others are texture food eaters. Smell and taste are clearly subjective.
They, in fact, are.
But for those of you who can’t help cramming every last ounce of objectivity into a competition (myself included), help is here.
Dye your tongue blue with food coloring. Do this outside for obvious reasons. Taste buds will shine more turquoise than the rest of the tongue. Take a donut shaped sticker- the ones you used to use to protect hole punches in your school binders. Place one on your tongue. If you have over 40 turquoise taste buds within the hole, you win. Under 15, you lose. Anywhere in the middle, you are indeed mediocre. Gasp.
This must be taken with a grain of salt, unless you won, in which case, stand by the test vehemently. Certain people have bald spots on their tongue from ear infections, bad dental work, who knows. Any number of factors can contribute to the loss of taste buds including the inevitable and sad human ageing process.
If any of you have ever had a physical handicap, you might remember, or are currently noticing, that other parts of your body have gotten stronger to recoup the loss. This too can happen with taste buds.
And there are people who have amazing taste buds but have never bothered to hone their naming skills. They can tell you how much they hate the taste of something on a scale of 1-10, but they can’t tell you that it smells like cardamom because they’ve never bothered to think about cardamom while the spice jar was open.
Enjoy your now competitive weekend. Ashley