The Road to Hell is Paved With Good Intentions; A Malolactic Bedtime Story

As a parent, all too often, you find yourself saying things that you regret… Immediately.

Today was such an occurrence. My three-year-old asked my husband what he did today at work. Being an honest man, driven to nurture, respect and inspire his progeny, he answered that he inoculated barrels with malolactic bacteria.

“What is that?” She asked

“That’s a bug, honey” says Brian “I put bugs in the barrels.”

At this point, I’ve decided that it’s a full fledged miracle if I don’t find crickets in my Tupperware drawer next week.

I seem to have a knack for envisioning the future that Brian apparently lacks. A three-year-old hears that it is “our” job to put bugs in things and suddenly you’ve got centipedes in places you’d rather not.

So I set off to fix it. Here is exactly where it gets worse.

I tell Alice that this particular bug doesn’t look like the kinds of bugs that she knows and loves. This kind of bug is so small that she can’t see it. Dead silence. So I Google a microscopic picture of malolactic bacteria. And it dawns on me that when there are worms under our down comforter next week, I can no longer solely blame Brian for a lack of foresight.

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Have a great weekend, Ashley

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